When God Says No

When you saw the title, I’m sure some of you thought, wait for what????  Yes, you read it right!! I have learned there are three answers God will give to a prayer, “yes” which we all love to hear, God saying yes to something we have been praying for is awesome!!  Then there is “not yet,” it’s not a yes so we are a little disappointed, but we can deal with it for the most part we just have to wait a  little while. Then there is the dreaded “NO”! Clutch your pearls and get a fan, yes there are times when God will say no to a prayer.  When He does, for some it can be the hardest thing in the world to hear.  Why would God tell me no, doesn’t He want me to be happy, to live a great life.  God would never close a door in my life to something that I asked for or need.

I recently had this happen in my life, and it felt like my world had fallen apart.  It’s not the first time God has said no to something I desired or wanted, but it was to things I knew in my heart weren’t for me.  So with those things, I was hurt a little but was able to move on from them. However, when God said no to this, I honestly didn’t understand it.  It wasn’t something I just wanted or something bad for me; it was something I needed to live.  I prayed earnestly for God to work the situation out in my favor because it didn’t affect just me, it was affecting others as well, but He had other plans.  When He didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted, and the thing I needed was taken from me, I felt so defeated.  So saying I was heartbroken is putting it lightly, my faith had been shaken.



I will be honest and say, it has been hard to have a vision for my life or know what to even hope/pray for because I don’t know how God is going to answer my prayer.  I guess you can say this experience jaded me, I thought what I was praying for was in God’s will. I know things could’ve gone a lot worse and I am grateful they didn’t.  However, things still aren’t how I would like for them to be. But being in this place is teaching me now more than ever that when I say “not my will Lord but Yours” be ready for what that could mean.  This is not to scare anyone and think God is going to allow something bad to happen to you just because.  He isn’t some scary being in the sky just waiting to punish us.

If anything it’s more about really learning to trust God more especially in the face of a “no.” God is sovereign, and He knows our end from our beginning.  He created us so He knows what we can and can’t handle, what will or won’t be good for us, He knows the best path for our life.  Yes, that sometimes means that the path may be hard but, He promises us that He has good plans for us.  Those plans are “to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”  Jeremiah 29:11.


You might be saying; tell that to someone that just lost a spouse/child or a spouse that prayed for a marriage to be restored, but it wasn’t.  Or someone that needed their job because as the sole provider they had a family to support but got laid off anyway.  Or someone that loses their home/cars everything. Some through no fault of their own they have had to suffer. I can honestly say I don’t know. There are some things we face that we may never know the reason for.  But God is a restorer, and He can restore some of the things we have lost.  Even with the things that can’t physically be restored, we can use our testing as a testimony to help someone. Just as I have and am going through now. Somethings can’t be restored physically, but I can share how God is keeping, comforting, providing for, sustaining me while I am going through in this hard season.  His love carries me when there are days I want to give up, because it’s too hard.  His peace and joy comfort me those days and nights I cry until I have no more tears.

I believe God can turn tragedy into triumph; He can heal broken hearts and “give beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness….” Isaiah 61:3  In the darkest moments of life when God says no or when He allows the most unimaginable thing to happen, we can still trust Him and His sovereignty.  We have to be like Job and say “though he slay me yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15  As cliche as that may sound and yes it’s better said than done, but that’s how we have to be.  God also said “…In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. God was letting us know yes you will suffer and have tribulation in this world. We will face things we don’t understand; we weren’t prepared for, no matter how righteous we think we are living.  But ,He has overcome every situation or circumstance we will ever face, and if He has then as His children, we have too.  So be of good cheer, the God that allows the season of hardship is the same God that can bring something beautiful out of it for you.

Prayer: God I know that you are sovereign and You know my end from my beginning. I Thank You for always being there, loving and caring for me.  So when things come my way I don’t understand, You allow me to go through a season of hardship or you say No to a prayer, help me to trust that You know what’s best for me.  And in those moments when in my going through I can’t see my way and start to get weary, lead me to the place of rest, peace and comfort in You.  In Jesus Name, Amen.


The Lesson In Going Through

It has taken me a little while to write this post, I started on it, then stopped and I keep coming back to it.  However, I haven’t been able to finish it, and I couldn’t figure out why this post was so hard. Then one day I was sitting thinking about this and how I’m in this place in my own life.  I think the reason it has been difficult is how much of a struggle this part in my of my journey has been. I am sitting here right now still wondering what all I am going through means, what is the purpose.  I know part of it is to share, but even doing that I feel there has to be more, only time will tell.

So, we are going to continue with this series of the “Process” and deal with the lessons of going through the process. I know when going through it’s taking everything in you to stay encouraged and in faith. Now to think there is a lesson we need to learn kind of adds insult to injury.  Like ok God really what did I do to deserve this!??!? Many times when a storm comes, we automatically think it’s the enemy, and it is at times.  Other times it is things that we bring upon ourselves, yes some of our actions, choices or decisions have consequences.  However, when the storm comes, however ever it comes, God uses that storm for our good.  How so you might ask, He uses it to prepare us for what’s to come, for our purpose and destiny.  Why would God use a bad situation to bring about my destiny? This is still something I have yet to understand fully, but I see it like this, for gold to be at it’s finest, it has to go through a process of being refined.  That’s how it is for us as children of God.  I also, think it’s about correction, not that we are out here living out right in sin, but sometimes we have to be course corrected.


I think the main reason is that He knows where you are right now, you wouldn’t be able to handle what’s ahead if you aren’t prepared. He has to burn off some people, things, old mindsets, feelings.  Even healing needs to take place, not physically per say, but mental, emotional and spiritual healing, broken spirits and hearts.  So, when going through the process, don’t just pray to get through it, seek God to find out what it is that He wants you to see or learn in the process.  It can even be to strengthen your faith and trust in Him. Whatever it is that the Holy Spirit shows you be open to receiving it and of course obedient to make changes.

I will be honest and say the Holy Spirit has shown me somethings and no I can’t say I was happy with what I was shown, lol. I am thankful though, because it shows me just how much God loves me in that He doesn’t want to leave me the way that I am. He has greater for me, and yes it means going through pruning, pressing, maturing and reshaping to get there.  He has the best in mind for all of us, and He wants us to be able to fully enjoy it.


So, I pray that if you’re going through anything reading this, if you are in a wilderness or shipwrecked state, know it’s only for a season. Continue to trust the process, go through it with God and be open to whatever God is doing in your life in this season. Even if we don’t understand why we’re going through what we’re going through, trust that God does! Even if we don’t know how it will all work out, trust God does!

I’m praying for you and that your faith doesn’t fail you in this season, stay blessed!!!


Trusting in God

I just wanted to share this with you quickly and will touch more on it in another post as a part of this series on the “process”. To piggy back off of my last post, this is one of my favorite songs to listen to any day but especially on those hard days.  In the “process” our faith and trust in God is being stretched to a place where we trust Him completely without reservation or hesitation. So this song by Hillsong United titled “Oceans” talks about trusting God without borders, trusting Him implicitly in EVERYTHING.  Give it a listen and I hope it blesses you!!


The Process of Going Through

My last post I talked about purpose in your pain. We as children of God have the hope that in time He will work things out for our good (Romans 8:28). The key words here are “in time” our as God’s says “in due season” or at the “appointed time.” You’re probably thinking ok so what do I do until my due season comes or my appointed time? Well you wait, simple right. I think for many of us not do much.

Waiting is undoubtedly the hardest part of any process if we are honest with ourselves. Not many of us like waiting, whether it’s in traffic, the doctor’s office or grocery store, we don’t like to wait. In some cases, you have a choice; you can sometimes get around traffic, you may even be able to find a shorter line in the grocery store.  However, when it comes to the things of God, there isn’t a choice, so we have to wait.   It’s not just waiting; it’s how you wait that is key. I wish I could tell you there was a magic formula to waiting or you simply do it and ease through the process, but that isn’t so. It’s actually far from the truth, at least not in our own strength.


I will be the first to tell you sometimes the waiting can be almost excruciating. The other day I was having one of those moments where I had gotten weary and tried, the frustration of it all got to me. Looking at where I am in this season, trying to stay hopeful and trust God but not yet seeing anything happening, all I could do was cry. I was laying on the floor in my closet, crying to God, pouring out my heart.  Wondering how long will I have to be in this season, how far down or how dark God will allow this season to get? Asking God why won’t He rescue me, I have been praying, fasting, seeking Him to get closer to Him, why was He silent?  Then that scripture “my strength is made perfect in your weakness” came to mind, in that moment of weakness God was reminding me that He wanted me to rest in Him.  Even when it felt like He was silent, and nothing was happening, trust Him and know He was with me. Some days that’s easier said than done, but it’s all you have at some point.

I am learning more and more every day to not stay in that place long.  When we are weak and our guard (that shield of faith) it leaves room for the enemy to slip in and start planting seeds of doubt, worry, and fear.  God understands that the process won’t be easy, and we will get weary. that is why He told us to cast your cares on Him for I careth for us (1 Peter 5:7) Even Jesus on His journey to the cross asked the Father to take the cup (the suffering) away from Him (Luke 22:42). Knowing that His suffering would serve a greater purpose, He stayed the course. And that is what we must do, no matter how hard it gets especially in our waiting.



I’m not going to tell you not to cry, and feel what you feel in those moments when it’s hardest. I will encourage you to in those moments, really press into God.  Prayer, read and confess scriptures that pertain to what you are dealing with and God’s promises. The one thing that helps me when I can’t pray or even want to read, I put on worship music.  There are times I sit/lay on my closet floor, put on my worship music, cry it out and let God minister to my spirit man.  In that place of worship is where God will meet you at your weakest point, strength, encourage and uplift you.  Worship takes you beyond the realm of the natural (your circumstances), to the realm of the supernatural (God’s presences, peace, joy) so you can be rejuvenated and strengthened to continue the journey.

So, in your waiting, we have to learn to wait well. Getting to that point will be a process in and of itself, but it is a lesson we all have to learn.  Even when it feels like you want to give up, keep fighting and stay in faith. The joy of the Lord is your strength, and He peace that surpasses all your understanding will guide your heart and mind. Be encouraged as you wait, know with confidence, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)


Reflection: Purpose in Pain

As I sit here today on my 42nd birthday, I’m reflecting on 2017. I’m thinking about all the goals and desires that I had.  All the things I wanted to happen and was excited about doing. Then I remember what actually happened outside of all of the plans I made. I won’t go into detail about it all, one day I will, but I will say I have seen my faith and trust in God stretched beyond the capacity I thought I had.  You think your faith is strong and you fully trust God until He allows you to go through things that test that.

In this season in my life, though it hasn’t been comfortable, and some days I pray that it will be over, I know its necessary.  I heard someone say if you want to hear God laugh tell Him what you have planned. Not that God doesn’t want us to set goals and plan, but ultimately it’s about doing His will.  Sometimes His will may take us down paths and into seasons that are uncomfortable.  At times it down right hurts and is so painful you want just to give up.  What I have learned is God wouldn’t have brought us to this place if He didn’t know that we could handle it.  As cliche as that sounds, it is true.

I honestly thank God that He loved me so much that He didn’t want to leave me where I was because I know He has greater for me. No, I don’t mean in my sin before I got saved, but not having reached my full destiny and purpose.  Don’t get it twisted; it took me a minute to get to that places because I fought the process and didn’t understand why I had to go through it. However, I came to realize the sooner I stopped resisting the process and embraced the season I was in, I saw God move. No, He hasn’t rescued me out of the season yet, but I have a greater sense of peace, trust, and faith in God. I may never understand fully why I have to go this way, but I know that He will use this for His glory and to help someone else.

So, I just want to encourage someone that is going through right now, and you may be trying to understand why a loving God can allow such pain. There is beauty in your brokenness, there is purpose in your pain, and I can say this even in my pain because I believe this with all of my heart.  I know a Sovereign God wouldn’t allow it if there weren’t a reason for it. Stay strong, don’t give up, don’t allow the enemy to get you off course, don’t let your flesh cause you to resist the process. God hasn’t left you to go through this alone; He is going through it with you.  Even in the moments where it gets really hard; He said His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and His grace is sufficient.

Jeremiah 29:11 New King James Version (NKJV)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.


This Thing Called Blogging

So yeah, I started this new blog and fell off, lol!!  I totally forgot how much work blogging can be especially trying to put up content worth sharing. I’m still here, still  committed to blogging because I do want to share the things I have going on in my life and have come through. However, I want the post to be worthwhile and have a purpose.

So stayed tuned I’m putting together some content to share, that I pray you will enjoy!!!


OutFit of The Day

15 Random Facts About Me

Hello Beautiful people, I hope everyone is doing well!!  My son took these pictures of me Easter/Resurrection Sunday and I completely forgot about them.  We had 7am service that Sunday, so I knew I wanted to be comfortable and casual.  We’re usually pretty laid back when it comes to dress, which made it easier to wear this.


{I have to work on my posing, lol}

When writing this post I didn’t want it to be just about my outfit, so I thought I would share 15 Random Facts about me.  In all my years of blogging I realized I’ve never done this, so I figured no better time then now.

  1. I am the youngest of all of my siblings, 5 girls in all and 1 brother (whose is deceased). I was told by my parents when me and my 2 sisters closest to me were smaller, I used to take up for them.  I don’t remember that, but my mama said I was mean like my grandmother so I guess it could be true! LOLOL
  2. I will NOT get in bed without taking a shower, I don’t care how late it is, how tired I am or if I took one earlier after working out, I take another shower.
  3. Cracks in sidewalks, walls, where ever make my skin crawl and my head itch, just thinking about it has my skin crawling.
  4. I love to write spoke word and poetry.  I might share some on my blog, when I get up the nerve.
  5.  I can not walk around the house without socks on my feet, I don’t care how hot it is outside, I have socks on.
  6. I am a J-Lo fan, I love her style, I like her music and I lover her show Shades of Blue.
  7. I love, love music, I can sit at home all day and not turn the TV and listen to music. My taste is eclectic, I listen to everything from Jazz, Gospel/Christian, Country, Pop, to Old School Hip-Hop, Reggae and R&B.
  8. I am terrified of flying, I have never flown, but I do want to travel to places I can only get to by plane, so am going to have to get over my fear somehow.



[Leggings: Ross?, Top: Forever 21, Sandals: Shoe Dazzle]

9. I want to become a certified personal trainer.  I enjoy learning about fitness, eating healthy and helping others get healthy.  Which is ironic, seeing as though I struggle with my own weight.

10.I love, love animated movies, I think at times I love them more then my son. Some of my favorites are: all the Toy Story’s, all the Sherk’s, Cars, Big Hero 6, Brave, Minons, Up, A Bug’s LIfe, Little Mermaid, Despicable Me, Princess and the Frog, Kung Fu Panda all 3 just to name a few.

11. My all time favorite movie is Last Dragon, it is a cult classic, plus, Leroy Green (Taimak) was too cute.

12. My favorite TV show is Miami Vice, when it was on Netflix, I watched it everyday, so I have seen each episode more than 50 times. Next is A Different World.

13. I am I guess you can say obsessed with crime shows: NCIS, CSI (reruns now), Criminal Minds (both), Chicago PD, Law and Order, Hawaii Five-O, 24: Legacy, Shades of Blue

14. I want to learn how to play golf, I enjoy watching it and really want to learn to play. I have asked my dad who is an avid golfer to teach me but he hasn’t yet.

15. I HATE, and I mean HATE scary movies. The last scary movie I saw was ‘The Grudge’ when it first came out and I cried because I was so terrified. I wanted to leave but my boyfriend at the time didn’t want to, eventually we did and ever since I can’t even look at or hear a commercials of anything scary.

Well that is 15 random facts about me, I was going to do 20 but, honestly couldn’t think of more this that I thought would be interesting, lol!!  I hope you enjoyed learning a little about me, and as always thank you for stopping by!!