I have seen this quote being used quite a bit recently “it’s ok not to be ok,” basically saying it is fine if you aren’t happy 24/7/365. Or that you don’t have it all together living on cloud nine, sliding down rainbows every single day. Which is true, no matter how strong we try to be and how much of a brave face we put on, some days we aren’t ok. Some days the pressure of the trial is too great, and we buckle under that pressure. But instead of leaning into loved ones and telling someone, we hold on to it. We are smiling when facing others while at home behind closed doors, we’re a crying mess. We hide it, it festers and grows, and leads to anxiety, frustration, and most of all, depression.
Depression can be very debilitating; if you have had even a single moment of depression, you know how it makes you feel. Just imagine living that ways for days, months, or even years. I have battled depression on some level for some years. Most of the time, I’ve been good; a bad day didn’t cause me to spiral. However, when it was a situation that wasn’t easily resolved or something that lingered the battle started. I’m awesome at encouraging others and for the most part myself. But on days when I am drained mentally and emotionally from fighting to be strong. When there is no relief in sight from the problems, I can be stubborn; I will retreat inward and not talk about it.
My family can tell when I’m not ok, but I still try and play it off like I am, or it’s just one of those days where I’m having a moment, and it will pass. I give myself the room to be human and cry it out on a bad day, I release all the pressure, and I am good. But at times that one day would turn into five days and then into a couple of weeks. I would fight to stay strong; I would even cry in front of them to show them I was vulnerable, but that was only scratching the surface. They still knew no matter how hard I tried to hide it. It wasn’t until my last bout and my thought of doing something stupid I knew it was bad. I don’t share this looking for pity or even for people to try to encourage me, I share it to help bring awareness to it. To the African American/Black community, young or older women of any race and even those in church.
Depression is real, and so many people suffer from it but hide it, I think mostly out of shame. People commit suicide because they carry that burden and feel hopeless in who they can confide. I also know in certain communities, and even religious faith’s talking about it is taboo or something to be cast out. I am wholeheartedly a woman of God; ordained minister, been in church all my life. God is my Father; Jesus is my Savior and Big Brother; the Holy Ghost lives in me and is my guide. I believe in the power of prayer and know God can heal anything, even depression. I also believe that God has given us counselors and doctors to aid in healing sometimes. There is nothing wrong with having someone to talk to, especially if it’s a spiritual counselor, someone that can listen and pray effectively with/over you. Asking for help isn’t a lack of faith in God, it can just be another method God uses to heal/help us.
So, if you’re battling depression for five days or 5 years, don’t hide it and be ashamed. First and foremost, seek God, get into His word and cry out to Him, because above everyone else He is the ultimate healer. Jesus suffered great pain and paid the price for our healing. At the same time talk to someone, if not family or close friends, find someone, you don’t have to fight this battle alone. If you are weary of talking to someone that isn’t a child of God, ask God to lead you to someone that is.
If you need someone to talk to but are ashamed to tell family or friends or go to a counselor, you can email me. No, I am no professional, I have no certification or degree, but I have been there, and I understand needing someone to talk to and even pray with you. Yes God’s word says “His grace is sufficient for us” 2 Corinthians 12:9, but God also gave us each other to help one another as well. Don’t let the pain of what you’re going through or dealing with hold you hostage or even drive you to suicide; you can be free, someone wants to help you.
It’s Ok to Not Be Ok, Just Tell Somebody!!
My Email: pain2purpose_76@yahoo.com
Embracing The Real Me 